September 30, 2016

Back to Basics

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I probably spend as much on self-help schemes as I do on skincare.  And good anti-aging products do not come cheap.  People never believe that I am 36 so money well spent.  But I digress.

I submerse myself  in (torture myself with?) self-help because I have a shining glimmer of hope!  Hope there might be something better/easier than the truth. A magic formula that will allow me to have all the ice cream I want AND a healthy BMI.   The perfect thing to fix me.  Well, no stone has gone unturned and I can tell you…it does not exist.  Not for an addict like me.

So it’s time to get back to basics.

As a food addict, there are certain things I just cannot eat, namely sugar and flour.  Not one single bite.  In OA this is called abstinence.  I need to perform a few daily/weekly rituals to support abstinence.  Combined, these basics worked for years and I have to accept they are the best way forward.  As “they” say, acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.  Sometimes I want to yell at “them” because this ain’t easy.

Side bar – don’t you just love that word ritual? I do. It makes the daily “ritual” of something, washing my face for example, sound like a calming almost spiritual experience.  In reality, the ritual of washing my face consists of hurriedly rubbing on the aforementioned expensive soap while trying to keep Violet from sticking her hands in the loo.  Yes, we have a childproof thing on it.  I often forget to snap it on because I am busy reading self-help books.  It’s a vicious cycle.

Emma’s 10 Bottom Line Basics

  1. No sugar. Nada. Real stevia (not Truvia), xylitol, and Swerve are ok but I am pretty much avoiding them right now.
  2. No Flour.  No gluten free pasta. No coconut or almond flours. No Ezekiel bread which is “flourless”.
  3. No Alcohol. Completely Sober.  After even one drink my defenses go down and I make bad decisions.  As in, “Sure, I can share that pizza with you”….No.  No I can’t.
  4. No soda. Drink water. A lot of it. Like 4-5 liters a day. Hydrated cells are happy cells and happy cells burn calories faster or something.
  5. Weigh and Measure food. After years of weighing my food, I still have no idea what 3 ounces should look like.  Nor am I am able to hear my body’s signals around fullness.  Weighing and measuring keeps me safe from over doing it.
  6. Track yourself before you wreck yourself. I forked out for the premium version of myfitnesspal because I want to see my macros (fat, protein, carbs, fiber).  Friend me on the app and starting October 1 you will be able to see what I eat.  My user name is emmainprogress_2016.  Keep me accountable people!
  7. OA Meetings.  I HATE going to them.  I always feel better afterwards.  Sigh.
  8. Exercise.  Cardio.  Weights.  Get my dopamine on.
  9. Spiritual Practice.  Om and Amen.  Keeps me grounded and calm.
  10. Have some fun!  Laugh!  Crucial for wellbeing in general.  Mandatory for abstinence.
September 19, 2016

An Ode to Diet Coke

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Oh Diet Coke. My silver bullet of choice.  Your fizzy mouth feel.  Your sweet, chemical taste.  Your caffeine hit.  Your aspartame, phenylalanine deliciousness.  Your caramel color delight.  How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.

You give me that much needed kick in the pants after Violet has nightmares. You give me that extra lift after late night laundry ‘cause John needed special shirts for trial.   You provide relief from seltzer and plain water boredom.  You are freely available in the drink fridge at work.  You addictive little 12 oz can you.

It’s too hard to be abstinent from real sugar when I drink you. Your calorie free sweetness makes me high.  I chase you like a dragon.  I crash and burn when you leave me.  Alas, this is no way to live.  I have to let you go.

No longer my morning coffee or tea replacement (because coffee & tea taste gross, obvi.) No longer my afternoon delight.  No longer wreaking havoc on my endocrine system.  The antithesis to Kelly Clarkson’s anthem, my life will suck LESS without you.