Oh Diet Coke. My silver bullet of choice. Your fizzy mouth feel. Your sweet, chemical taste. Your caffeine hit. Your aspartame, phenylalanine deliciousness. Your caramel color delight. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
You give me that much needed kick in the pants after Violet has nightmares. You give me that extra lift after late night laundry ‘cause John needed special shirts for trial. You provide relief from seltzer and plain water boredom. You are freely available in the drink fridge at work. You addictive little 12 oz can you.
It’s too hard to be abstinent from real sugar when I drink you. Your calorie free sweetness makes me high. I chase you like a dragon. I crash and burn when you leave me. Alas, this is no way to live. I have to let you go.
No longer my morning coffee or tea replacement (because coffee & tea taste gross, obvi.) No longer my afternoon delight. No longer wreaking havoc on my endocrine system. The antithesis to Kelly Clarkson’s anthem, my life will suck LESS without you.